have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
