I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
All I want is dick and wine.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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