fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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