i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Randomize
