i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
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