Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
