Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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