singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I don't think brook has ever known best
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
