So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
