he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
