her vagina looked like bernie madoff
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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