He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Randomize
