Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
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