Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
