Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
