yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Me. At least after what I've been through.
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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