My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Randomize
