dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
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