he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
That accounts for only three of the penises
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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