Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Randomize
