I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
