I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
