My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Randomize
