My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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