Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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