I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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