the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
