I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Randomize
