So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize