Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
