it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
