So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize