I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
farters have to be the big spoon...
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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