Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
