It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Randomize
