I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
My Sexting was not on an AP level
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
