Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
