You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
