i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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