What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
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