I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
