Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
