Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Blood and glitter go together right?
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
