Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
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