Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
