i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
