i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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