Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
