I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
