She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
