i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
