He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
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