you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Houston, we have a blender
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize