R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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