How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
It's just like the Real World with babies
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
