He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
