OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize