He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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