no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
