So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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