Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
