Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
