i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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