Fine. I'll sleep in my office
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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