Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
That's when you crack a 10am beer
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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