her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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