I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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