so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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