We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Randomize
