i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
He did a backflip because drugs
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