I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
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